Good stuff to come

Now that we're all settled back in Indiana, I broke out my birthday present (awesome recording equipment and software) from Wes. After a really long and frustrating two days, my own little recording studio is all set to go in our apartment. It's kind of a surreal experience listening to your own voice and music and lyrics played back to you like it's supposed to be there but so cool! My poor fingers had blisters on the tips from playing my guitar so much - that's what happens when I don't play at all for four months and lose my calluses. I'm a bit rusty, but it's all coming together every day. Who needs a day job? I've been working on a few covers and a few originals as well, so watch out for those appearing soonish - either here or FB. Exciting. I know.

So earlier this week, I was just hanging out by myself while Wes was at school and wrote down a few thoughts on my latest endeavor, a little bit about the writing process for me, and music in general. I apologize if it's a little random and sporadic but that's just the way my brain works. (You don't even want to know what my journal looks like)


Music is the universal language because it comes straight from the heart. To the heart. It can express the feelings inside you better than just plain words. A few simple chords or notes can take you on a journey. Bring pictures and images to your mind. Take you on a journey of times, places, people, memories, and feelings. And every time you listen to the same song or hear the same tune, it can be an entirely new experience. What is incredible to me is that this is not unique. I'm sure that everyone has been moved by music somehow somewhere.

Music is truly a gift from God. I believe He gave us voices to sing and hands to play. I hope I can use this gift to simply bring joy - to my life and anyone else that cares to listen. I hope you do (listen) and that it does (bring you joy).

I'm not sure why this is exactly, but I don't always write from a happy place. It's more often melancholy and afraid. unsure and questioning. Those states and emotions fuel my creativity. Not that my music turns out sad but it's born on those sad, rainy days when I take a moment to think and reflect on life. When I'm happy and in a good place, I want to do and be. do fun things and be with people I love. At those moments, the world is right, and I don't need to reflect but just live my beautiful life. When I try to write about those happy things, it just comes out cheesy and insincere somehow.

This is purely for me. But music was meant to be shared and enjoyed. I don't hope to become the next youtube sensation or even a name out there. It's fun to dream of those things and making it big in the music industry, but that's not important to me. What is important is being able to express ME and what's inside me with anyone that wants to listen. I feel like sharing my music is the next step to progress it further. So thanks for reading and soon to be listening :)

M.I.A.

This was a random late night post a few weeks ago when I couldn't sleep and then never posted...so it's a little late and inaccurate but I'm going to post it anyway :)


So it's probably about time that I join the blogging world again. I've told myself that it's okay I haven't kept up on it because my blog is called 'In the Land of Michiana' and I'm not there right now. Or it's because I've just been having too much fun livin it up in good ol' Utah. In reality I've just been lazy and realize that most of the people that read my blog know exactly what we've been up to this summer because they've been right there with us.

We leave for Indiana in just four days. Mixed emotions... Last year was pure excitement followed by harsh reality. This year I know what to expect, mostly, and it will be easier. I'm excited to be back in our apartment because it's ours. I have lots of ideas for better organization and new recipes to try - thanks Pinterest. Wes and I have a new hobby to enjoy together: golf. I never pictured myself playing golf or being one of 'those couples' that plays golf together, but it's actually a lot of fun, relaxing, and a much better way to spend time together than say watching mind numbing tv.

The thing I dread is the job hunt, which I started over a month ago. I'm not very patient when it comes to jobs because I've been told my whole life "who wouldn't  want to hire you?" and being a college grad makes you more of a snob when it comes to what you'll apply for. I had a very discouraging day when another position was filled by someone other than me, and all of a sudden the grounds keeper position or cage cleaner position (yes that really is a job title at Notre Dame. I think it's for some lab or vet's office) were looking pretty darn promising. Thankfully I have somebody with their head on straight all of the time and he helps me to remember to be realistic and then finds 30 jobs I could apply for on Google. Love my Wesley. I will go back to the bank if nothing pans out. I'm just hoping for more money, or possible tuition benefits, or something that actually uses my degree.

On that same bad day, I was also having mid-college crisis thoughts again that go something like "I don't know what I'm good at, or what do I want to do with my life, or what good is that piece of paper anyway?" I'd rather ditch the job hunt and make writing music my day job. Talk about THE life. That plan is even more tempting when my birthday present was a bunch of recording equipment. Maybe Wes is really telling me to do that! Anyway, once I got a grip after a few tears, I reminded myself that my college education happened the way it did for a reason. I felt really good about the decision to major in exercise science and better yet I loved it! Don't doubt answers that have already come. If it felt right then, it's still right now. (One of the best Elder Holland talks - Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence.) I will find a job and it will be what's right for this year. I just have to have patience, more faith and trust in the Lord's timing, and more patience. Wes also reminded me that he's the reason I don't have the job I had all lined up after college. It always feels good to blame someone else :)

So that's what's happening now and in the near future. This summer has been so wonderful. I true summer because it included no job, family, friends, and sun. I've got the best tan I've had in a while without even trying because I've just been at the pool a lot with two highly active, crazy, adorable, smart, sassy, lovely girls all summer. Developing my mommy skills has been a lot more difficult than I expected. I've watched children almost my whole life and have done a lot of babysitting of nieces and nephews, but never in a full-time sort of way. It's exhausting to say the least. All mamas out there be proud of the work you do every single day because no one else can do it better than you. Being a mother is possibly the most selfless job or role there ever was and ever will be. There are constant decisions of doing things for you or for your kids. Children are naturally selfish and that makes it that much harder when you've given them everything you can already and they just want more of you. You without the technology or distractions. There's a difference. I'm grateful for this summer and the chance I've had to get a glimpse into a mom's world. One I'm going to stay out of a while longer, though baby Max is enough to change my mind in a heartbeat, or a smile, or a gurgle. I want one of him :) I wouldn't mind stealing easy-going Alex either.

Besides the kiddos, summer has included lots of family, food, shopping with the sis, reading Mormon romance novels - can I say real life love is so much better? :) - and golf. It also included a road trip to Cali for a most beloved Aunt's wedding and an anniversary of my own! Birthdays and parties and Sunday dinners. Where it all went to so fast, I do not know. I wish in so many ways that it was still just the beginning. I love my family so much it hurts to think about leaving them, again, and not coming back til Christmas, again. But at the same time it's fine. They're just a phone call or Facetime away. I've got the one I absolutely can't live without leaving with me so it will always be okay. Time to look East. for home. for a new school year. for new adventures.

Here's a quick look back in pictures.

 Birthday Dinner: Cheesecake Factory. Don't mind the horrible orange lighting.

 These two cool cats were my best friends all summer. AJ and Alex

 Birthday Girls!

 bubble blowing - a summer must have

 Fourth of July fireworks watching. Yes, Stevie is one of the kids

 California cabin stay. Sooooo awesome. Wish we could stay for a month!

 Cute Noah was my backseat buddy

 The happy couple

 Dad and Nana. You can kinda tell they're related

cute Max

 Block towers and cities. a daily occurence

 One year anniversary with this guy :)

 Cali and Isaac. building sand castles

Crazy first day of school faces. I think this picture portrays their personalities perfectly. Love these two and it's been the best summer with them!

spring break

I forgot how nice spring break is. BYU will do that to you ;) Even though I'm not in school, Wes had spring break this past week, and so I took the whole week off of work - so nice and much needed, though I'm struggling with the motivation to go back...

Anyway, here are some of our adventures of the week:

Monday - Wes went to the dentist. Super exciting, I know, but it's not like my house cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping can really compare to that. haha so it was a typical day.

Tuesday - We went to the American Pancake House for breakfast and were quite impressed with our delicious breakfast. (insert picture of large plate with pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, and hot chocolate since I forgot to take one)
I took Wes home to do what he wanted and then went shopping! After hitting up TJMaxx, I'm now ready for spring, if only the Indiana weather would cooperate...it didn't get above 45 degrees all week :(

Wednesday - Pure laziness all day. And it was fantastic.

Thursday - More shopping for me followed by a run at Notre Dame.

Friday - Studebaker Museum and the Oliver Mansion. The museum was three levels of nothing but old cars restored to perfection. They even had some carriages and buggies. Seeing the history was very cool.

I really liked the color combo on this one and the little back seat that sort of pops out of the back.

This was probably our favorite car overall style wise.

The Oliver Mansion was gorgeous! Built in 1897, it was one of the first homes in South Bend to get electricity throughout. The family made their money during the industrial movement in the area, and everything in the house is exactly as they had it. It was donated to the city with all of their belongings in it. Beside the hand carved wood work and the lavish furnishings, my favorite was the sunny music room off of the main hall. The Steinway grand piano in it was beautiful! Wes stole a picture before the tour guide told us no photography.

This is part of the library

This isn't the Oliver mansion, but a home about a block away that was built around the same time. Pretty sure it was the Studebaker's and has now been turned into a fancy restaurant. Just to give you an idea of what we saw.

After these fun tours, we went to a pub downtown to get some delicious fish and chips.

In between all of the relaxing, I was still quite productive with baking, reading a few books, and working on my music. Wes also got a lot of studying and exam prep done. The best part was being able to spend so much time with Wes! Back to the grind tomorrow, but it will only be eight more weeks until we're homeward bound for summer break!

We got to sit in one of the cars at the museum - lighting not so great for this pic! Still, such a fun day and week.

Second First Date

Disclaimer: This post will feel more like a crazy college girl's journal but that is because I was a crazy college girl at the time of these events and that is how I remember it all taking place. I apologize in advance for all of the side notes, run-on sentences, and random thoughts in parentheses.

Last year's February 28 was a snowy day on BYU campus. I was wearing my favorite gray boots and striped yellow scarf. I skipped Marriage Prep (don't worry I was going to go to the afternoon section) to take an O Chem midterm first thing that morning - those tests are known to take three hours without blinking an eye. I unexpectedly ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in a long time (this friend is the one that I started dating, see my First Date post, but things didn't work out and ended on rocky terms. I wasn't over it completely, and seeing him was exactly what I needed.) Made my day, and I thought it couldn't get any better... But it did.

Later, I was running late for Marriage Prep (I was still FREAKING out that I'd seen Jon earlier and was trying to figure out what it all meant. So naturally I was writing all of my thoughts down on a scrap of paper in between classes), and I hurried out of the JFSB basement to bump into none other than Wesley! I NEVER saw this kid on campus, ever, so it was quite a surprise. It was just a quick hello goodbye, but still my day was getting even better. (Side note: there were multiple doors to get out of the building but I chose to stay inside as long as possible and went out the far entrance, which is exactly where Wes was coming in.)

Made it to Marriage Prep with my friend Jessie. As we walked out, she spotted Wes in the crowd and called out to him. The three of us talked for a while out in the cold. I was trying to be so nice and cute and flirty to try and make up for the disappointment of December. Our little chat was good, and then we all went our separate ways. Mine was home to teach piano lessons.

And guess who called me in between two lessons?? Wesley Harward. I was shocked to say the least, but I couldn't stop smiling after our quick conversation. I said I'd call back after I was done teaching. And I did. And he asked me out, again. And I said yes. And I could not have been happier! (Evidence of this shear joy - spinning around my room saying 'He called me!! Wes asked me out again!!') Little did I know that that happiness would never leave but only increase and that I'd be married to him in less than six months. All I did know was that I had a second chance with this boy, and I wasn't going to break his heart again. I'm so grateful he had the courage to call me again because our second first date changed absolutely everything.

We arranged for that Saturday, March 3. It was an incredibly busy day for me, but I knew I could not put Wes off till the next weekend. I participated in the stake Women's Conference, rushed home to eat and change to then head off to campus to record a demo of a song I'd written with a friend - recording is seriously one of the funnest things ever. I then went straight to a special friend's birthday party for a while to then race home to change and compose myself for my date with Wesley. He picked me up, and I introduced him briefly to my family. We went to dinner and then a show in Murray. It was very entertaining, though I was exhausted and was trying to hide it, and the best part was spending the evening with Wes. I didn't know that it was the renewed beginning of something special but just a wonderful date with a good, attentive, adoring young man.

Wes and I like to look back to these early times in our relationship and see all that has changed. It's fun to hear his perspective and all of the little details after the fact - like the fact that he saw Jessie and I before we saw him but he didn't say anything or the reason why he decided to call me again or that it was right after his mom's birthday dinner that I called him back. We know that none of the events that week were coincidences. Everything happened the way it did for a reason and was perfectly orchestrated by One who knows more than I do. (I say I because Wes was a lot more clued in to the fact that we were meant to be together than I was at the time :)

Remembering Bill

My Uncle Bill died early this week in his truck of natural causes. He was 57 years old. Most of you won't know anything about him or that my dad even had a brother. I don't know enough of his story to give any background, and what I do know doesn't need to be told. Here are some reflections and memories of my Uncle Bill.

...

I've been thinking a lot about my Uncle Bill this week. Just about everything. I wish I could have known him better. I only met the man once in my life! He was always an elusive character to me growing up. We used to send him a Christmas package every year, but eventually we stopped because it made him feel bad that he had nothing to give in return.

I also recall a few letters he wrote to my dad. The paper was thick, and it smelled of cigarette smoke. He would include a few scented sticks or something to mask it.

We have a few pictures of Bill at our house. My favorites are the ones of him as a kid - the awful junior high school picture and cute portraits of  him as a little boy.

He would call once in a blue moon to talk to my dad. This would always get my dad going. I know he loves his brother, but talking to him would only bring sadness and frustration.

As a kid, the impression I got from my dad was that he didn't like his brother and that they certainly didn't get along. I understand better now the situation and their relationship. My dad shared with us the legendary story of Billy and rock n' roll star Randy Rhodes. My brothers all have copies of the old photograph of the two young rockers.

I finally met my Uncle Bill at age 13. We went on a family vacation to California to visit the Petersons, go to Great America theme park, see San Francisco, and visit my brother JR, his wife Kristen, and their new baby, Cali. (Probably the best family vacation, hands down.) Anyway, Bill showed up with his girlfriend Linda while we were at Nana's. I was intrigued by this man that looked so much like my father, and yet was so very different from him. At times I thought he was crazy because he repeated himself a lot and didn't always make much sense. I had almost been taught to be afraid of him. But I liked him. He was so fascinating and different from anyone I'd ever met. And he's my Uncle.

There's so much I don't know about him. But here's what I do know: Billy made many wrong choices early in life. He has had to live with the consequences of those choices for the rest of his days. Despite all of this, he was a good man. He had dreams and ambitions. Big dreams. He had real talent - as a musician. as an artist. as a writer. He had a good heart. A big heart. He lived a simple life. in his truck. in various parking lots. He was and is loved, and he loved.

For whatever reason, his time to exit this part of life was now. but he is still living, and in a much better place. I look forward to the day when I will be able to meet him again. without all of the hardening effects of life on his body and mind. We can have a Peterson Jam Session :) I'm grateful for the Plan of Happiness and the peace it brings to me and can now bring to my Uncle Bill.

Love you, Uncle Bill. Rest in peace.

Year in Review

A new year brings plans for needed changes and achieving dreams, as well as looking back and seeing where you stood a year ago and marveling at the distance traveled. I think it's safe to say that everyone does these things, to varying degrees. My goals were set December 31, but I didn't Really start to ponder the past year until last night. 

In a nutshell, 2012 was a pretty fantastic year for me and definitely the most eventful year to date. So here's my year in review:

• Began my last semester of college. Woot!
• Started dating Wes :)
• Started writing songs and loved it
• Started dating Wes. Seriously
• Graduated from BYU with my Bachelor's. Yay!
• Fell in love
• Got engaged
• Planned a wedding
• Received my endowment
• Got married to the love of my life!
• First time on an airplane
• First time on a cruise ship
• First time outside the US
• Moved out of my parent's home
• Moved across the country
• First Notre Dame football game
• Called to serve in a Branch
• Home for Christmas :) plus many more things

I had big plans for 2012. I knew I was going to graduate...then what? I wanted to move out, buy my own car, get a full-time job, live the 'single' life, and think about a mission, future career/more schooling, and eventually marriage. Well, I think I can check most, if not all, of those big things off the list even if they did happen in the most unexpected ways. And I believe I have Wesley to thank for that. I'm so grateful for the way it all happened, unexpected or not, because it's exactly what I needed. 2012 was a year of firsts. And second chances :)

So here's to 2013! Who knows what will happen? But I'm excited to live it and love it knowing Wes will be right there with me.

First Date to Happily Married

Last Sunday was the First Presidency Christmas Devotional. I always enjoy the music and messages, and it's a great way to start off the Christmas season. But this one was even more special because it marked the 'one year' point for something important. Last year's devotional was my first date with Wes. Awww...but for those unfamiliar with our story, it was also our last date for a few months because I decided to start dating someone else, only to realize later that Wes was the better man :) So let's just say that Wes doesn't have the fondest feelings toward that weekend ;)

It was fun to reflect on this past year and to see all that has changed. It is truly amazing how much has happened since then (finding, dating, and marrying the love of my life, graduating from college, moving away from home and living across the country!) I thought that my life was headed in one direction until Wes turned everything around - which I'm so grateful for! I also can't believe it's only been one year, and yet how quickly it has passed.

With all of this in mind, I want to share an experience that happened at work this week that made me so grateful for my happy marriage and foundation of the gospel.

Working at a bank means that people look at your hands a lot because you're handling their money. So naturally, my wedding ring attracts some attention. Many customers have asked me how long I've been married - I must look so young to them. One particular client asked me this, and I replied four months. He kind of laughed and said that that was a mistake. Somewhat taken back, I tell him that I'm happily married. He then tells me that my answer will change in about ten years. I firmly stated that I disagreed and would still be happily married in ten years. I had finished his transaction and so he went on his way, probably not thinking anything of our conversation, but it had pricked something in me that bothered me all day.

What made it even worse was that I couldn't really talk about it to any of my coworkers because they wouldn't really understand where I was coming from and why this would bother me since they all come from broken homes. After stewing over it all day, I finally got to talk to Wes that night about it, which helped.

I know that the world we live in puts no faith in marriage anymore, and that no one expects them to last. Divorce is so common these days and neither party is at 'fault'. Many don't even see a reason to get married. This modern view just makes me sad. I wanted to tell this client that just because he has a failed marriage doesn't mean that everyone else will, or that I will, and that he has no right to tell me my marriage was a mistake and a decision I'll regret. Getting married to Wes was the BEST decision I'll ever make and one I am grateful for every single day! I wasn't hurt so much by his comments as I was just saddened that this man had this view. Once again, I am so grateful for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I can have confidence in my temple marriage because of its eternal nature. By keeping my covenants, choosing to work at and strengthen my marriage, and loving Wes and the Lord every day of my life, I will always be happily married.